Take Good Care of Your Farming Mates!

Take Good Care of Your Mates!

This week on Twitter there was a Multi-Nation discussion and concern about “farmers being in dark places” as a result of stress.

Extreme weather events in many countries including Ireland, UK, West Australia and New Zealand are putting farmers under immense stress. Stress about money, feed availability and the costs of buying in expensive feed when pasture is not growing. 

Hell it’s tough!

Now is the time to take good care of your mates!

 Men go into their “Man Caves” and it’s a very dark place to be…..it’s a scary place for men to go. Men in “Man Caves” frighten women and stress farming families. Men under stress tend to shut down and stop talking. This is a huge concern to everyone. 

The farm’s “Magic Spot” is a lovely place to be with your family. “Magic Spots” on farms are not “Man Caves” Don’t get confused!

 Don't allow the farm to be your whole world!

Farming is an isolated profession. Farming can sap your every energy. However farming should never be your whole world. Farms and farming exist in a turbulent world. This is a world of climatic extremes, regular financial crisis and volatile world markets. Farms are always at risk but your life is about so much more than just the farm.

Don't allow the farm to be your whole world!

You are so much more!

Men can be farmers but they are also fathers, sons, husbands, friends, mates, lovers, laughers, jokesters and team players.

If a drought or prolonged cold or extreme wetness does seriously affect your farm you don’t want it bowling over your whole world. By saying that…… in no way am I underestimating the damaging impact of dryness (or cold or extreme wet) can have on a farm business.

However now that the rain has started (the sun has crept out) there are many critical decisions that will impact the speed of recovery. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Alison Fairleigh in Australia (one of my twitter friends) this week wrote in her blog http://talkingfairleigh.blogspot.com/

 

KEEPING A MATE SAFE (adapted from Rural Alive & Well)

Monitor your mate's behaviour: are they acting differently or strangely? Watch for the warning signs.

Alert: stay watchful. We all have bad days, however if your mate shows warning signs, they may be at risk of depression or suicide.

Talk to your mate. Ask the question: ''ARE YOU OK?'' The only way to check out if they are OK, is to ask!

Engage with your mate. Encourage them to take action, visit a doctor or call a telephone support line. Offer to get them some assistance. It may be all it takes to keep them safe.

You need to know what support services are available so you can EMPOWER YOUR MATE TO TAKE CONTROL!

Caring effective Farm Discussion Groups can be so supportive when farmers are going through a hell of a time. Now is the time NOT to miss your Discussion Group day. Go looking for workable solutions. Go so you realise that everyone else is struggling too & that you are NOT alone. Go so that you get off your own farm for a few hours. Go just for the laughter!

Take a neighbour or farming friend to your group meeting (even if it is only once). Introduce them to positive caring people in your group. Have a laugh together, talk about possible help the group might offer, talk solutions & next steps looking forward. Your group can help your district recover quicker.
If you are the facilitator don't allow the group to get into negative think and negative talk. Talk about the Rugby, AFL, Hurling, fishing and the Grand Prix as well as cow condition and pasture covers.

If you go to your Farm Discussion Group meeting and Bill isn’t there????…..ask if anyone else has seen Bill? Who spoke to Bill recently…..is he okay? Don't encourage drinking binges but go for a talk over tea or coffee.

If Andrea doesn’t show up either????…..has anyone rung her to see if she is okay? Take good care of your mates! 

When you get home…..ring Bill…..ring Andrea to make sure they are both okay! Don’t allow your mates to isolate themselves…it’s dangerous right now!

It’s important….Take good care of your Mates!

On a Pasture based Dairy Farm The Sky is Always Blue

The sky is always blue! This is NOT a reference to the lack of rain in Australia & New Zealand. The dairy industry is a place of optimism and opportunities. In every crisis there is both danger and opportunities. The key is to see the opportunity! Believe me the sky is always blue! Pasture based dairy farming is a place of optimism!

Every time I fly the sky is always blue! From the ground it may not seem to be. It’s easy to get pessimistic. Even as the aircraft takes off you are not absolutely sure. But it is always very reassuring to experience that joy of breaking through the clouds. Dark as the clouds might seem. The sky is always blue!  The sky is always blue is a glass half full attitude!

The Chinese symbol for crisis cleverly includes both danger and opportunity. Don’t dismiss the danger and the threats but look for the upside risk, the opportunities to learn, to make decisive moves and to benefit from a crisis.

The world seems to be having these extreme weather events. Remember the 2012 drought in the USA & Canada. 2012 delivered endless rain and mud in the UK, making pasture management a nightmare. The hot dry summer of 2013 in NZ & Australia is now creating desperate feed shortages on most dairy farms. Farmers have little control over these events but there impact can be massive.

There is a huge risk that these events can be very costly. Beware of over spending on feed. Rather look to minimise the losses. Few people make money during dry periods but many lose money. Think ahead. What are you going to do when it does rain? How can you recover quickly with no carry over costs e.g. under feeding calves so that heifers are under target weights…..these carry over costs can impact 2-3 seasons ahead.

These extreme events cause much farmer stress. Farming men often don’t deal with stress very well. Men tend to retreat into their “man caves”. They go quiet and are reluctant to talk out their concerns. Whereas women tend to choose a much healthier path & confide in friends about what’s worrying them. Women don’t really understand “man caves”. 

Women struggle with their men in “Man Caves”.

 Five-terrors-of-being-a-man

I’ve learnt that “man caves” stress everyone & rarely solve any problems. “Man caves” in fact stress women and are grossly unfair to families. Don’t go there!

Every Dairy Farm has a “Magic Spot”. Farmers are so lucky to have “Magic Spots” on their farms. Somewhere that is truly magical. Somewhere that is quiet and you can reflect on how lucky you really are to be a dairy farmer. Dairy Farmers need to Spend Time at the “Magic Spot” on their Farm. The farm’s “Magic Spot” is a lovely place to be with your family. “Magic Spots” on farms are not “Man Caves” Don’t get confused!

Farming is an isolated profession. Farming can sap your every energy. However farming should never be your whole world. Men can be farmers but they are also fathers, sons, husbands, friends, mates, lovers, laughers, jokesters and team players. If a drought or floods seriously affect your farm you don’t want it bowling over your whole world. By saying that…… in no way am I underestimating the damaging impact of dryness or flooding can have on a farm business. 

Ask for help! Asking for help is a manly thing not a sign of weakness. Recognise if your man needs help.

It’s time to go to the beach. It’s time to go swimming with your children. It’s time or organise a game of beach volleyball with your Discussion Group. It’s time to watch the Kiwis give England a hiding in the Cricket Test Series. It’s time to take a break!